Monday, July 25, 2011
Not enough hours in a day!
I have such a dilemma. My 'to-do' list is SOOO long and full of chores (more than my usual) and even though I seem to be getting to them one-by-one, I still feel as though I can't keep my head above water!! And the 'dilemma' is the fact that I just don't have the *ENERGY* to get to it all. It's one of the most frustrating aspects of this illness. My head and my heart say: "I have all these desires and wishes and goals and I need to DO them!" And with that, my body responds "Yeah, right!! That's not gonna happen!" <sigh> It's something I'm used to by now (33 years) but somehow, it's still one of these areas that I find difficult to deal with. Should I be less ambitious? How can I still be productive and purposeful within the parameters of a body that does not cooperate? Just one of the challenges of living life with a chronic condition...one of many. I guess what I do is simply this: I take it one-day-at-a-time. I do what I can do when I can do it. And when I can't...I don't. This week, I am preparing for my beautiful granddaughter's first birthday which we are celebrating in my home on Saturday. Thirty+ people. Still have some shopping to do and preparing a few little dishes. Fortunately, everyone's doing something...so it's not all on me. And then the following day I will be a vendor at a fundraiser for lupus called "Blues On The Bay". There's always LOTS to do before a craft show or fundraiser like getting pieces in order, polishing up some jewelry, making sure they're priced, getting my business card together (YIKES, something I forgot to put on my 'to-to' list!) and getting it all packed up along with displays & tables & gift bags OH MY!! My b.p. is going up as we speak. All I can do is pray for less pain this week and more energy so that I can accomplish AT LEAST the bare minimum of what I hope to accomplish. Wish me luck?