Examining life with a chronic illness. How to be your best while feeling your worst. DIscovering who you are and why anyone should care. Living to the max....and loving yourself even when you're not who you thought you'd be.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Three more weeks to a New Year
Quite unbelievable how quickly 2010 seemed to pass. Lots went on. Several BIG happenings in my life. Last March, I lost my Dad. He struggled with Congestive Heart Failure ... & seemed to get weaker and weaker with each passing month. I was fortunate enough to have made the decision to spend time in Florida about a month or so before he died. It was a wonderful, yet tough visit. He was fading fast, but still maintained the stubborn Czechoslovakian within. I think that even at the ripe age of <almost> 88, he still didn't see himself as being "old". OR, he simply didn't want to. After much bickering, he would finally agree to use his walker, yet when I awoke to find him walking to the bathroom at 3 am WITHOUT the WALKER, I lost my cool. I'd never "fought" with my Dad. I was never really allowed to do so. (I'll save THAT explanation for another post, though.) I PLEADED with him to use the darn thing. He fell once while I was there (and was hospitalized) and one week after I left, again--that was the REAL beginning of the end. A wonderful, stubborn man! THAT was who my Dad was. But I was always Daddy's girl. To tell you that I miss him dearly is a huge understatement. He passed away a little over four months prior to my becoming a Grandmother--the second huge occurrence for me in 2010. Along with my having my OWN baby 25+ years ago, this has been such a huge source of happiness in my life. And although my granddaughter is not my "blood relation" (she is the daughter of my stepdaughter), I couldn't love her more if she were "blood-related". That kind of stuff is BS to me. My (step)daughter, as far as I'm concerned, is my daughter. Not to take anything away from her Mom...it's just that I love her as much as I would have had I given birth to her. Watching her with little "N" is heart-warming. She is, and will continue to be a WONDERFUL Mom. And thirdly, my son made it to Broadway! Only 25 years old and apparently the youngest Music Director on Broadway (I was told)...we ALL couldn't be prouder!! To see him and HEAR him on that stage, belting it out (the last number of the show) made me cry happy tears EVERY time we saw it. All 'n' all, FIVE times. We're going one last time in two weeks, as the show is sadly closing. But that's OK! There's so much more in his future, we're not worried at all. So as you may have noticed, there is a pattern here. It's about FAMILY. My family and my friends are everything to me. Having lost three aunts, one uncle and my Dad all in the past two years--I feel like I've taken a real hit. My Mom is nearly 80 and has always been fiercely independent. And yes, she's now starting to show her age. So of the "older relatives", it's my Mom and it's my Aunt (Dad's sister), and my Mother-in-law. And that's it. I truly hope that between my husband and myself, we can continue to maintain relationships with our siblings, cousins, nephews and children "without incident". We all need one another. Perhaps we need to continue to instill this in our younger family members, as they may not REALLY understand yet. But they will, just as we learned from those before us. (I guess we really WERE listening!)
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