Gift of Life (and Love)

One week ago, I went for a kidney transplant consultation at the advice of my regular nephrologist.  Because of my Lupus, I now have 25% kidney function--not too good, eh?  Surprisingly though, my kidneys are not bad enough to go on the transplant (waiting) list...not yet anyway.  My GFR (otherwise known as kidney function) needs to be 20% or less for me to even get my name on the list and that's not all.  The waiting list in question is between 5-7 years for a cadaver kidney.  WOW.  Talk about staring your LIFE dead-in-the-face.  So in the meantime, we wait to see if my twenty~five year old son is a match.  I've been feeling VERY conflicted about him even being tested, but being that he is of proper age to make such a decision--I didn't stand in his way.  He was insistent.   So, I've got no other 'live donor' options at this point.  I thought my brother was a possible donor until I found out that he's been on blood pressure med's for four years now.  So, he's out.  My husband doesn't have the same blood type as I have (O+) so right off the bat, he was out.  Quite a predicament--and as sick as I've gotten over the years, I really never thought I'd be facing such an frightening dilemma.  BUT I AM.  And so, like every other obstacle and challenge I've faced in the last thirty~two years, I face this one HEAD-on.  Full-force.  Full-steam-ahead!  Strong in the belief & the conviction that I will prevail and triumph over this 'little annoyance'.  Just another 'ding' amongst life's dings...and let's face it, we've ALL got 'em.  Some of us just have larger dings than others.  So for now, I wait.  And while I wait, I dream of how different my life can be once I'm on the other side of this.  Me, only better.  *I can live with that.*